Not a good day really! I woke up and it suddenly dawned on me what I’ve done!!! I felt teary and had a Tufty Club tummy (my Mum will get that reference!) This isn’t a 2 week holiday! This is it! My life! OMG! It felt extremely overwhelming! Definitely a day for pjs! I’d discovered too that the internet connection here is very poor- and that is an understatement. It comes and goes as it pleases! But mainly goes! It took around 3 hours (with Tom’s help) to download an app!!! I also typed around 1200 words of my blog , lost part of it and then it wouldn’t publish!!!
By mid afternoon I was going a bit stir crazy so I had a word with myself, got dressed and walked into the lovely town of Dol de Bretagne, which is where I’m staying.
I went to the supermarket and did a “big shop”, got a call from Will, then opened a bottle of red wine (a South African Pinotage left over from the wedding!) and got ready to watch Danse Avec Les Stars- the French version of my beloved Strictly. It wasn’t very good. I was a bit disappointed. No-one does it like the BBC! A truth I am loathe to admit as they won’t let me watch it whilst I’m here! 😦
Bonne nuit 🙂
A much better start to the day! Tufty tummy resolved!
I decided to stay put today and plan things to do for the following week. I’m going to go to Bayeux tomorrow to see the tapestry and to visit the war graves there. Still deciding the rest!
My spirits were lifted today when I tuned in to the 1st episode of the 5th glorious series of the BEST podcast, the one I bang on about all the time (no pun intended!) My Dad Wrote a Porno! Hurrah! Rocky Flintstone has excelled himself with this one! Hilarious, awful, disgusting and hilarious! I love it! Thank you 🙂
I also watched the television coverage today of Jaques Chirac’s body being driven to Les Invalides in Paris to lie in state ahead of his funeral tomorrow.
As any one who knows me at all will know, I am a perfectionist and have very high expectations of myself! In all things! So I wanted to step off the boat in St Malo speaking fluent French! Yep! Ridiculous! On the ferry I greeted the lady in the cafe (at 8.45pm) with a lovely “bonjour”!!!! Idiot! The thing is I have no confidence in my spoken French, which is, I think, something that is common to a lot of people. I can think it and read it (although my vocabulary is sadly lacking) but ask me to say something and I clam up!
So, I’ve decided I need a teacher. I’m watching French tv, am speaking French whenever possible and am reading lots of French literature. But I want to speak it well and with confidence. For example, I knocked on the door of the house whose annexe I am staying in today. All I wanted to say to their son was “is your Dad in?” I messed up and then said it out loud (and correctly) to myself as I walked away!!! Grrr!!! I’ve emailed Cynthia who was my fabulous teacher at the Alliance Française to see if she can help- all in French of course!
When I feel a bit rubbish and scared and alone I obviously read all the lovely messages from friends and family and look at the fab photos of the fab things that we have done together. But I have been thinking in particular of 4 individuals over the last day or so:
The first is a person who I have only known for a short time but have found to be so inspirational. She left her home in Bulgaria, came alone to England, studied and worked hard and tomorrow will open her own business. If she can do all of that then I can do this. Wishing her all the luck in the world.
The second is a person who I met for the first time at Rob and Amy’s wedding. She has travelled a lot both with her partner and alone. She told me that she always feels sad and homesick when she embarks on a trip that takes her away from loved ones but that I should expect to feel like this and just keep on going, get through it and out the other side. This advice has been so helpful and the words are in my head even now because, as much as this is what I really want to do, I am homesick and I am missing people.
The third person is a lady who I thought was doing ok, but it turns out she isn’t. I thought she was happy, successful etc, etc but she told me just before I left how unhappy she is, and has been for a long time. She told me she has a dream of doing something like I am doing. My wish is that someday she will. If I can do it then really, honestly, anyone can.
And lastly is a lady I met when I went to the bureau de change to get some euros for my trip. She asked where I was going and who with. When I explained my trip and that I was going alone she became tearful and told me that her marriage had ended 2 years previously and that she was having a very difficult time and still couldn’t imagine a time when she might feel ok again. Or indeed when she might even consider doing something like I am doing now. I told her I had been just like her but that time heals and that she would get there- just keep looking forwards.
So, there endeth what some might see as a feminist rant! But thinking of all of them (plus everyone else of course) is helping me through a transition which has been harder than I expected. So thank you x
N.B. I just need to say that the place my satnav took me through during the search for a supermarket wasn’t used in the making of Les Misérables. It was apparently filmed mainly in Belgium (including the scenes set in Paris) but some scenes were filmed in Northern France (Marville, an hour east of Sedan and close to the Belgian border) and the Netherlands.
Also, a typo in the first part of my blog. I won’t go into detail but it should say “scrunchy holder” not “crunchy holder” Ha ha! Oops! 🙂
Jane’s Tour de Force 