19th November

It was quite foggy first thing but it’s cleared up now and it’s a lovely sunny day.

I was planning on going to Chenonceau today but I got an email this morning from Trainline reminding me that I’m going to Orléans tomorrow (yes I knew that) and that, even though I have already got my tickets on the Trainline app, I must make copies of them on A4 paper to be able to travel (no I did not know that!) So, I shelved my idea of going to the château and, after breakfast, I set off for the library that I’d walked past yesterday- blissfully unaware!

I’m feeling pretty chuffed with myself because already I’m finding my way, reasonably easily, around Tours. I walked down to the river first of all and onto the bridge. The tramway runs right across it and then down the main street of the city. You can go right down to the river bank and walk along it. I’ll do that sometime but today photocopying is the thing.

It turns out the library don’t do photocopying but they explained to me where I could get it done and, thinking (hoping) I had understood the directions correctly, I was just about to leave the library when someone called of me. It was Manu and he was on his way to meet some clients at the train station. He greeted me with a kiss on each cheek and I thought “oh I feel so French!” But I was swiftly brought back down to earth with a bump when he suggested that I speak English as he wasn’t feeling well (full of cold) and was in a rush! Heyhoe!

I was feeling a bit stressed about finding somewhere to print off my tickets so to see a familiar face was lovely. I told Manu that I would still like some French lessons whilst I am here so he gave me his number and I said I would contact him that evening to arrange something. Then I set off to look for the copy shop and found easily actually. But once inside I had to explain what I needed and also work out how to send the PDF’s to the shop’s email. Oh dear! I know to a lot of people that sounds easy. But I found it very stressful and I was sweating buckets when I finally left the shop- with my A4 size ticket printouts though. I got my Paris tickets printed out too! I can’t go through that again! 🙂

When I had set off from home I had thought I might go to a museum in Tours today but actually I just fancied having a bit of a shop. So that’s what I did. Everywhere is becoming very Christmassy and wandering around the shops was lovely. I bought a few presents and went into Zara to replenish my perfume supply but came out with 2 tops too! In my defence, Zara is cheaper here than at home.

The lights and decorations are going up all over the city and lots of little Christmas markets are being set up in various places too.

Walking home this evening I had to keep pinching myself that I was really here and doing this. I love it here. I’ve been looking at rentals in the estate agents today. It would be cheaper I think than Airbnbing- although I’d have bills to pay and would probably need to buy furniture. If I could get just a little job- a few hours doing something- that’s all I would need just to keep topping up the money. I wouldn’t have much, but I could manage- and I’d be very happy 🙂

I got home and messaged Chantal to tell her I had bought fabric for Thursday. I actually bought some more too today. It’s velvet again but with tropical leaves and birds on it. So now I have to decide which to use!!! I also messaged Manu and we’ve arranged to meet up on Sunday.

I know I keep banging on about Queer Eye- now one of my favourite shows ever- so forgive me for going there again. But I watched an interview with Antoni Porowski on YouTube last night and I wanted to share it with you. For those of you who don’t watch Queer Eye, Antoni is the “foody” element of the Fab5. He is successful, gorgeous, has just written his own cookbook and has worked in many restaurants, both as a chef and as front of house. But still he struggles to go into a restaurant on his own to eat. It makes him anxious and uncomfortable and so he doesn’t do it. It’s hard to believe isn’t it? But I get that, because it’s something I can’t do either, which sounds ridiculous when I’ve done what I’ve done. I’ve come to France on my own, I’m driving on the wrong (but right!) side of the road, I’m speaking French etc, etc. But going into a restaurant alone and sitting there alone- I can’t do it. The last time I did it was when I went to Paris on my own in January 2018. The place was lovely, the food was delicious, the staff were fab, but I felt uncomfortable and so havent even tried to do it here. It’s hard enough going into somewhere to get a coffee or a bite to eat during the day but, at night, and a restaurant, well that’s a whole different matter. It’s annoying and frustrating because I love food and love eating out. But there it is- and it makes it easier to deal with because I know that other people feel the same. It goes to show too doesn’t it that all the money and celebrity in the world can’t take away our basic human frailties and anxieties.

Indeed, the lady interviewing Antoni, again a very successful personality, but I can’t remember her name, said she struggled with this too. So, she and Antoni made a “pinky promise” that they would both eat out alone and try and overcome their fear. It made me emotional- and I wish them both every success. Good luck 🙂

So Orléans in the morning!

Bonne nuit 🙂